Week 4 Who Am I as a Communicator?

Taking this weeks assessments and seeing others assessments of me this week was very interesting.  What I found most interesting is that, between my assessment, John's, and my colleague, Amy we were very similar in most areas. The most obvious similarity was in the verbal Aggressiveness Scale. I scored a 53, John scored a 60, and Amy scored a 56. All of these scored fell in the moderate portion of the scale. This was nice to see because it showed that I maintain a good balance in respect and the ability to argue fairly in both my school setting and my personal life. Of course, I do wish I did not attack every time someone did not possess the same view as me. The biggest difference I saw was in my listening style. Amy, my colleague, described me as content-oriented, whereas John scored me as people-oriented. I do not disagree with either of these, but it does display how my listening style changes from one context (my peers) to another context (faculty meetings, professional development). The most surprising part of this assessment was that I thought I would have scored the absolute worst. Even when John heard he would score my aggressiveness he laughed because we both feel that I am very aggressive in conversation, however we both found that the aggressiveness I display keeps away from attacking a person.

One insight I gained from this week is that communication varies from setting to setting. The way we communicate with our peers is much different from the way we communicate with our colleagues, children, and families. This is such an important aspect to remember when we are in the professional world and when we are in our personal/social world. Another insight I gained this week, is to simply not judge a book by the cover. During our discussion, we had to share the first impressions we had on a women. It is impossible to avoid having a first impression, however it is possible to make sure you do not let that first impression take control over figuring out who that person really is after you talk with them.  On the other side, I think that discussion assignment was an excellent reminder that people do make first impressions simply from how we present ourselves. This is important to take in consideration when in the workplace. We need to make sure that the things we can control send a first impression we would want others to have.

Differences in the way we communicate Week 3

 

I found this topic to be very interesting and one that is apparently very true for me according to my boyfriend, John. He has been around me in various settings such as the classroom, the restaurant, with colleagues, family, and our friends. He was the first one to point out how I communicate differently in each setting. For example, in the classroom he mentioned that I use simply words for the most part, but also very clear and use correct English. This is also the way I am when I worked as a served in the restaurant. I just did not think it was appropriate to talk to costumers like they are your long time buddies.  The major difference is when I am around friends and family. Often times around my friends I speak fast, relaxed, and full of slang. It is around my family that John pointed out my "Southern roots" showing. It wasn't until he pointed it out, that I realized my drawn out words and dropped endings in my words. I feel the majority of the change in the way I communicate has to deal a lot with  the setting in which I am communicating. It is  expected that you speak clearly and use proper English in the work place, just as it is important to do this as a way of teaching a child in the classroom. In the other settings I feel I am in a more relaxed environment. As I thought about this topic, I also realized that as we are exposed to different ways of communicating, we also pick up on that style especially when it is the dominant. In my school I am one of two White teachers, I was exposed to slang terms I had never heard of before, and over time learned what it meant and began using them myself. I feel this is just something that occured over time and happens without even thinking about it.

The first strategy I feel will help me communicate more effectively with people includes talking on someone's level. This is extremely important when we talk with children and parents. When talking with children we need to make sure we are talking in a way they can comprehend and also make sure we are modeling proper English to them. It is also very important when talking with parents because we want to make sure we do not talk over them. In one undergraduate course, my professor reminded us that many times parents are already hesitant to come talk with the teacher, sometimes simply by being intimidated. If we talk on their level rather than using fancy terms, it could help set that parent at ease for coming to you whenever needed. The next strategy that will help me communicate more effectively is to avoid cultural myopia. We need to make sure we remain open minded to all families cultural perspectives otherwise this could develop a major barrier between parent and teacher. The third strategy is to be aware of the Platinum Rule. While the Golden Rule is wonderful; it is the Platinum Rule that can foster effective communication with families.

Week 2- Television Show

What do you think the characters’ relationships are based on the ways in which they are communicating?  

 

For this assignment I chose to watch a show called "New Girl." I truly had no clue what this show was about from the characters, the plot, or anything.  At the beginning of the show the characters, three guys and a girl, were seated at the kitchen table. My first thought was that they were close friends, sibling, or room mates. Each seems comfortable in getting up and getting whatever they needed from the kitchen or another room, so it also gave me the impression they knew each other very well to the point they had that comfort.

What are they feeling and expressing based on the nonverbal behavior you are observing?

There was a great deal of nonverbal communication within the first 10 minutes of the show that made me think they were having an argument. One of the guys was slamming his cookie on the table and pointing his finger at another guy as he talked. The girl was rolling her eyes a little and rolling her head as she talked. This made me think they were annoyed with each other. A few minutes after what looked like an argument calmed down, they girl then lowered her head at the table making it appear that she was sad. 

What assumptions did you make about the characters and plot based on the ways in which you interpreted the communication you observed?

I made the assumption that the characters were possibly siblings or close friends who were having an argument. After watching the video with the volume, I found that they were actually room mates and one of them was moving out. I found out that the girl was actually sad that this room mate was moving out, and she was trying to keep him from doing it. I think about the argument a little different now that I know it was out of concern and sadness regarding her friend leaving.

Would your assumptions have been more correct if you had been watching a show you know well?

I am sure my assumptions would be more correct if it was a show I watch often.  I would be aware of the nonverbal behavior seen by different characters in the show and know how that nonverbal behavior correlates with the feelings the character displays. For example, I watch "The Big Bang Theory" a lot. If I were to watch it now without the sound I would know the meanings behind the nonverbal behaviors such as Raji not looking at Penny. It's not because he doesn't like her, but because he fears talking to girls.

Competent Communicator

There are many people I have heard talk from those in team meetings at school, educational seminars, ministers at church and of course, friends.When I think of a competent communicator I think about a person who is engaged throughout the entire communication process, one who uses effective observable behavior, and one who takes the situation into consideration throughout the communication. With this in mind, I think about my current principal, Mrs. Jackson. She manages to display all of these qualities when having a meeting. She does a wonderful job keeping everyone engaged in the communication, as well as showing she is engaged when others are speaking by using very positive nonverbal behaviors. I think about the times I share my thoughts in these meetings and I see her looking at me and nodding her head in response with a smile.  Another way she gets us engaged is by communicating in a way they we understand fully and a way that really gets us involved. She does her best to avoid speaking over our heads with fancy terms if possible. Finally, I find her to be the best model because she takes the situation into context during the communication. Some school days in the past have been very challenging and draining, so it is apparent she takes that into consideration when opening the discussions for the day. She also does a wonderful job of remaining on the topic of our students, and knowing what is okay to discuss/share and what is not.

Knowing how I feel being the other person in the conversation, I would love to model some of Mrs. Jackson's communication behaviors. She does a wonderful job of truly making you feel like everything you say is important to her, and also does a wonderful job remaining positive and professional in communication even if she might not feel up for it sometimes (which has to happen at some point).

Professional Hopes and Goals

This course has most definitely been a thought provoking look into diversity. As I think about my future courses and year in the classroom, my hope is that I will be more sensitive and respectful of the many diverse backgrounds that may walk into my classroom. My hope is to remember that the most effective teachers are those who continue to learn, that includes continuing to learn about your students and their families. However learning about the children and families is only part of the job, it is also vital to utilize what you learn about the families as you work with the child. As I strive to learn more about my families and be more sensitive and respectful, I hope that my parent/teacher and student/teacher relationships grow even stronger.

I would like to set the goal of being an advocate in my school for equity and social justice in the early childhood field. An advocate is an advocate regardless of how small an area they advocate in. Just like our children, we learn from role models and most ( those who have the children first in mind) follow along when they see something that is right and good. My goal is to display my feelings towards treating others fairly despite the different social identities they may be a part of. This of course will ultimately be displayed through my actions, with the hope that others will recognize how beneficially it really is. Also, at the teachers meet during in service week to start the new year, my principal has asked me to share some of the knowledge I have gained from being a part of this course, as many of the concepts we have discussed in this course were also addressed in our summer reading book.  My hope is that this will be the start of advocating for equity and social justice.

Thank you all for taking the time reading my blog each week. I have thoroughly enjoyed working with you during this course and learning about many of your different experiences. Good luck to each of you!

My Student from Turkey

I am a teacher at the neighborhood elementary school where I teach 3rd grade. My principal has informed me that next week I will have a new student in my class from Turkey. I am unaware of any of the customs and practices in Turkey, therefore I go home to research information that will prepare me for working with this family and developing a positive relationship. 

As I was doing my research, I pin pointed five important pieces of information that will better prepare me for meeting the child and family. 

1. When I meet the family I will give each a firm handshake. It is customary to greet the person closest to you and then move counter clockwise. Shaking hands before you leave is also occasionally practiced. 

2. If I was ever invited to the family's home, it is important to give a gift. The most common gift is pastries called baklava. It is also important to remember that if they family has children, you bring some expensive sweets or candy. 

3. I will maintain eye contact at all times during the conversation with the parents because it is a sign of sincerity. Also, I will remember that often times Turks will stand very close to you during a conversation, and to back away in this situation would be considered unfriendly. 

4. When addressing someone from Turkey, it is most common to call a man by his name followed by 'bey' and to call a women by her name followed by 'hanim.' 

5. I feel it would also be important to know that many of the primary schools in Turkey hold morning and afternoon sessions because they are so crowded. Primary school also begins at age  6 and continues for 8 uninterrupted years. At the conclusion on these 8 years the child gets a diploma and entered secondary education. Also it will be important to remember that classes in Turkey are usually of greater size (20-40 students)

Knowing this information would be a beginning level as I work towards getting to know the family. My hope is that this will help make the transition a little easier for the family and child. Considering the large change this would be for the child, I hope that this would bring comfort in which we can build a positive relationship.

The personal side of bias, prejudice, and oppression

What memory do you have of an incident when you experienced bias, prejudice, and/or oppression, or witnessed someone else as the target of bias, prejudice, and/or oppression?

This experience in one I shared in my Diversity Profile, and I share it now because it was not only unbelievable then, but still is in my mind. Getting new students is a very common occurrence in our school. For the past two years I have thought of my classroom as a “revolving door” because students are always in my room for a month or so and out the next. I had about 10 students who started the year and finished the year with me. Anyways, I was called down to the office one day to meet my new student. I walked down and upon extending my hand to the parent; I remember the mother’s first words upon seeing me. “Oh no, oh no, you’re a teacher here? No, no, no this will not work for my son. You’re too nice. He needs someone who will be tough. He needs a teacher who is black.” I was absolutely floored by this comment. This statement did not hide any of her thoughts regarding a white teacher. It was a loaded statement mainly implying that because I was white I would not be tough enough for her child, and that being white meant I was nice. Even months after this occurred it still shocks me that someone would not only think this, but say it out loud.  For the record, this child was not placed in my class after all; the principal decided that nothing good would come out of that after our first interaction.

In what way(s) did the specific bias, prejudice and/or oppression in that incident diminish equity?

This specific incident implied that certain personality traits are carried by people based on color. It implied that because I am white, I do not carry the ability to be a tough teacher with high expectations. Also, this incident modeled the parents view to the child. As a child looking up to his parent, it showed how the parent felt regarding white teachers; something he could begin to believe as true. Because I know how the remainder of the year was for this child, and that he was placed in the classroom of a teacher who was a few months from retirement, and never left her computer chair, I can say this situation ultimately hurt his ability to be a part of a classroom that was filled with active and engaging learning opportunities.

What feelings did this incident bring up for you?

The feelings I have from this incident were first shock and honestly still a little bit of that. After sharing the story with a few friends, I started to realize that this really did anger me because this teacher knew nothing about me and how I teach. She judged me by the way I looked. I work very hard to ensure that I set the expectations for my students high and I treat each of them fairly. In those mere moments getting a look at how I teach was completely overlooked, actually not even recognized.  Personally, now I think it is just sad to know that some people feel that way, and are ridiculous enough to actually verbalize it.

What and/or who would have to change in order to turn this incident into an opportunity for greater equity?

Honestly, the only way this incident could have turned out better was for the parent to not think this way, or at least not verbalize it and give me the chance to teach her son. Even if the parent did have a bad experience with a teacher who was white, it would be important to remember that not everyone is the same. In my opinion this situation did more hurt than anything in the long run, because it not only led to a year in a “not so great” class, but it also displayed biased feelings to the child, something he too could start to believe is true.