By the time you read this the conflict will be solved in some way.
This conflict is actually one I am currently facing as we
plan the places we will visit on our road trip in the next few days. My
boyfriend and I are traveling up north to Pittsburgh to visit his family, but
we also considered going to other places while on the road trip. He would like
to drive up to Lake Erie, while I would like to go to Washington D.C. and see
all those amazing national landmarks. After reading the material for this week,
I quickly found out my initial response in the heat of the moment was probably
not the best one My response being, “Well its my car so we will go where I want
to go.” I played a little bit of a power
role with my comment to our conflict.
Two possible strategies we can take to resolve this problem would be to compromise.
Possibly go to one of these places on this road trip up North and save the
other for when we go in the spring. Knowing us, it will probably be decided
with a coin toss, or by taking into consideration the temperature around the spring.
Going to the Lake would be more logical now than the beginning of spring.
The other strategy would be a Lose-Lose honestly, because
there is no way we could have a win-win by visiting both during this one trip due
to time. Therefore, we would postpone both of these places until another longer
trip and only visit the places we agree on during this trip.
I feel part of Magda Gerber’s concept of Three R’s would apply,
particularly the concept of respect. Despite the conflict at hand, I should remain
respectful to my boyfriend and what he feels even if I do not particularly agree.
This is significant because being respectful goes back to the Golden Rule and I
would not like it if he responded the way I did initially. I personally feel like
each conflict can utilize the Nonviolence Communication steps in some way, even
my present one. One aspect I probably did not address to my boyfriend would be why
I had the feelings I had about not going to Washington D.C. (my needs)
Even though this conflict may sound silly, I would like to know
how you would handle such a situation. I will be sure to share what we concluded
when I return. J
Thank you for sharing your personal dilemma. I think you are on the right track. In this situation, someone has to compromise. Your initial response was the start of an unproductive conflict, but as I continued to read your story; you communicated that you assessed that you needed to communicate to your boyfriend your needs in a more respectful way. I think that decision is the action of a competent communicator. I hope you are jubilant wherever you are, and as always, be safe in all your endeavors. Please upload pictures if you can!
ReplyDeleteGreat post! Thank you so very much for sharing your personal story. It is examples like this that really determine who we are as a communicator because you have strong feelings about what you would like to do but do not see eye to eye with a loved one. I really liked your point about your first instinct was to use power to get what you wanted but then you realized that it wasn't the best way to solve the conflict. Great job :)
ReplyDeleteChristina,
ReplyDeleteI hope you had a fabulous trip! Being respectful in our communication is very important. I sometimes wonder if we become more relaxed with this when communicating with loved ones, sort of letting our guard down? Not imposing a power struggle and learning to compromise is very important. I don't think compromise is a bad thing, but I feel it often leads to exploring options that we may not have thought of on our own.
Well I promised to share the outcome of this problem. We ended up at Lake Erie. Yes, that was his original choice, but we set down and discussed our options. Considering our next visit there will be in late fall or winter, we thought Washington D.C could wait. Laying out by the lake doesn't sound very fun in extreme Pittsburgh winter. Picture at the lake has been uploaded! :) Thanks for reading
ReplyDelete