Week 5 Blog

 By the time you read this the conflict will be solved in some way.

This conflict is actually one I am currently facing as we plan the places we will visit on our road trip in the next few days. My boyfriend and I are traveling up north to Pittsburgh to visit his family, but we also considered going to other places while on the road trip. He would like to drive up to Lake Erie, while I would like to go to Washington D.C. and see all those amazing national landmarks. After reading the material for this week, I quickly found out my initial response in the heat of the moment was probably not the best one My response being, “Well its my car so we will go where I want to go.”  I played a little bit of a power role with my comment to our conflict.  Two possible strategies we can take to resolve this problem would be to compromise. Possibly go to one of these places on this road trip up North and save the other for when we go in the spring. Knowing us, it will probably be decided with a coin toss, or by taking into consideration the temperature around the spring. Going to the Lake would be more logical now than the beginning of spring.

The other strategy would be a Lose-Lose honestly, because there is no way we could have a win-win by visiting both during this one trip due to time. Therefore, we would postpone both of these places until another longer trip and only visit the places we agree on during this trip.

I feel part of Magda Gerber’s concept of Three R’s would apply, particularly the concept of respect. Despite the conflict at hand, I should remain respectful to my boyfriend and what he feels even if I do not particularly agree. This is significant because being respectful goes back to the Golden Rule and I would not like it if he responded the way I did initially. I personally feel like each conflict can utilize the Nonviolence Communication steps in some way, even my present one. One aspect I probably did not address to my boyfriend would be why I had the feelings I had about not going to Washington D.C. (my needs)

Even though this conflict may sound silly, I would like to know how you would handle such a situation. I will be sure to share what we concluded when I return. J

Week 4 Who Am I as a Communicator?

Taking this weeks assessments and seeing others assessments of me this week was very interesting.  What I found most interesting is that, between my assessment, John's, and my colleague, Amy we were very similar in most areas. The most obvious similarity was in the verbal Aggressiveness Scale. I scored a 53, John scored a 60, and Amy scored a 56. All of these scored fell in the moderate portion of the scale. This was nice to see because it showed that I maintain a good balance in respect and the ability to argue fairly in both my school setting and my personal life. Of course, I do wish I did not attack every time someone did not possess the same view as me. The biggest difference I saw was in my listening style. Amy, my colleague, described me as content-oriented, whereas John scored me as people-oriented. I do not disagree with either of these, but it does display how my listening style changes from one context (my peers) to another context (faculty meetings, professional development). The most surprising part of this assessment was that I thought I would have scored the absolute worst. Even when John heard he would score my aggressiveness he laughed because we both feel that I am very aggressive in conversation, however we both found that the aggressiveness I display keeps away from attacking a person.

One insight I gained from this week is that communication varies from setting to setting. The way we communicate with our peers is much different from the way we communicate with our colleagues, children, and families. This is such an important aspect to remember when we are in the professional world and when we are in our personal/social world. Another insight I gained this week, is to simply not judge a book by the cover. During our discussion, we had to share the first impressions we had on a women. It is impossible to avoid having a first impression, however it is possible to make sure you do not let that first impression take control over figuring out who that person really is after you talk with them.  On the other side, I think that discussion assignment was an excellent reminder that people do make first impressions simply from how we present ourselves. This is important to take in consideration when in the workplace. We need to make sure that the things we can control send a first impression we would want others to have.

Differences in the way we communicate Week 3

 

I found this topic to be very interesting and one that is apparently very true for me according to my boyfriend, John. He has been around me in various settings such as the classroom, the restaurant, with colleagues, family, and our friends. He was the first one to point out how I communicate differently in each setting. For example, in the classroom he mentioned that I use simply words for the most part, but also very clear and use correct English. This is also the way I am when I worked as a served in the restaurant. I just did not think it was appropriate to talk to costumers like they are your long time buddies.  The major difference is when I am around friends and family. Often times around my friends I speak fast, relaxed, and full of slang. It is around my family that John pointed out my "Southern roots" showing. It wasn't until he pointed it out, that I realized my drawn out words and dropped endings in my words. I feel the majority of the change in the way I communicate has to deal a lot with  the setting in which I am communicating. It is  expected that you speak clearly and use proper English in the work place, just as it is important to do this as a way of teaching a child in the classroom. In the other settings I feel I am in a more relaxed environment. As I thought about this topic, I also realized that as we are exposed to different ways of communicating, we also pick up on that style especially when it is the dominant. In my school I am one of two White teachers, I was exposed to slang terms I had never heard of before, and over time learned what it meant and began using them myself. I feel this is just something that occured over time and happens without even thinking about it.

The first strategy I feel will help me communicate more effectively with people includes talking on someone's level. This is extremely important when we talk with children and parents. When talking with children we need to make sure we are talking in a way they can comprehend and also make sure we are modeling proper English to them. It is also very important when talking with parents because we want to make sure we do not talk over them. In one undergraduate course, my professor reminded us that many times parents are already hesitant to come talk with the teacher, sometimes simply by being intimidated. If we talk on their level rather than using fancy terms, it could help set that parent at ease for coming to you whenever needed. The next strategy that will help me communicate more effectively is to avoid cultural myopia. We need to make sure we remain open minded to all families cultural perspectives otherwise this could develop a major barrier between parent and teacher. The third strategy is to be aware of the Platinum Rule. While the Golden Rule is wonderful; it is the Platinum Rule that can foster effective communication with families.

Week 2- Television Show

What do you think the characters’ relationships are based on the ways in which they are communicating?  

 

For this assignment I chose to watch a show called "New Girl." I truly had no clue what this show was about from the characters, the plot, or anything.  At the beginning of the show the characters, three guys and a girl, were seated at the kitchen table. My first thought was that they were close friends, sibling, or room mates. Each seems comfortable in getting up and getting whatever they needed from the kitchen or another room, so it also gave me the impression they knew each other very well to the point they had that comfort.

What are they feeling and expressing based on the nonverbal behavior you are observing?

There was a great deal of nonverbal communication within the first 10 minutes of the show that made me think they were having an argument. One of the guys was slamming his cookie on the table and pointing his finger at another guy as he talked. The girl was rolling her eyes a little and rolling her head as she talked. This made me think they were annoyed with each other. A few minutes after what looked like an argument calmed down, they girl then lowered her head at the table making it appear that she was sad. 

What assumptions did you make about the characters and plot based on the ways in which you interpreted the communication you observed?

I made the assumption that the characters were possibly siblings or close friends who were having an argument. After watching the video with the volume, I found that they were actually room mates and one of them was moving out. I found out that the girl was actually sad that this room mate was moving out, and she was trying to keep him from doing it. I think about the argument a little different now that I know it was out of concern and sadness regarding her friend leaving.

Would your assumptions have been more correct if you had been watching a show you know well?

I am sure my assumptions would be more correct if it was a show I watch often.  I would be aware of the nonverbal behavior seen by different characters in the show and know how that nonverbal behavior correlates with the feelings the character displays. For example, I watch "The Big Bang Theory" a lot. If I were to watch it now without the sound I would know the meanings behind the nonverbal behaviors such as Raji not looking at Penny. It's not because he doesn't like her, but because he fears talking to girls.